SELF CONFIDENCE
SELF CONFIDENCE
One pleasent evening of 1960's I was travelling in a train along with my father. It was driven by a steam Engine with a rythematic sound chikku- bukku.My thoughts were also dancing in synchronisation with that engine sound.The next morning i had to take up an entrance examination for getting admission in Regional college of education. I was running with mild temperature. when i told my father, he laughed at me and said it may be an Examination fever and administered a pill. I was little bit nervous .
Suddenly the train halted in a small village side station. Both sides green fields. In the farther end of west there was a hill. I was lured by the panoramic view of sun set.I didn't feel the exam fear.Cool breeze was pleasent.Slowly as night came the sky was dark.once again i started thinking of my exam. As it was common entrance for four southern states i was not hopeful in selection.
The next morning we have reached the destination. In the tourist home where we have stayed i told my father that i feel very vaque and it is difficlt for me to take up the.exam. On hearing me, my father patted me on shoulder and said "'I hpoe you can do well. You have got the talent.Try to have positive thinking. The exam fear makes you think hopeless. Pray God . Have self confidence. Let us go to exam hall"
After attending my morning session exams I have come out. In the canteen, other students were discussing about the answers. On hearing that, i felt most of my answers might be wrong. I told my father it is better we can move without attending the after noon exam. But My father told me " do not bother about the result.You may not be knowing your potential.Once again I tell you have self confidence. "
Some how I managed to over come the fear of failure and attended the exam in the afternoon and retuned home. To my astonishment i was selected and was one among the 40 Students and joined the course.This induced me lo tof self confidence in atteding my Engineering interview and got selected.Then i left the regional college of education and Did my B.E degree in Electrical engineering .
With my personal experience , I under stood that Fear alone makes oneself feel hopeless and have less confidence in himself .
What makes oneself fear about facing the outside world.
It is nothing but " SHYNESS". Shy people will mostly face failures in his personal, family . social and professional life. It affects the normal development of the individual.Hence one must analyse himself for finding out the root cause of his shyness.
We know that Society and its social restrictions are the main reasons for one's personality development and behaviourism.
The restrictions posed by one's own family and school life,misunderstanding of his religion and culture,and wrong ideas of sex due to mistaught or misunderstanding.
Shyness in turn produces fear and inferiority complex.
FEAR:
During growth every child gain basic experiences, skills and emotins that allows themto have close relationship with others and to interact with them effectively. in the early child hood ,temper tantrums, intense Fears and unreasonable outbursts of of jealousy are present.
Conditioning , imitation and memories of unpleasent experiencesare main cause for arousing fears.
Fear consists of two stages. a)Anxiety and Actual fear
According to Sigmund Freud , repression of forbidden thoughts and id-derived urges is associated with intense anxiety and emotional state akin to fear.
A person in anxiety will be in confused state . He feels that he is in danger.and helpless.
Due to anxiety he gets the real fear.
All the above three factors give the individual the feeling of panic,feeling of guilt and of being rejected by the society. These produces inferiority complex in the individual.
The people with inferiority complex find it difficult to face the problems and act swiftly. They face failures mostly.
They lack in assertiveness.This in turn produces a sense of emptiness and a feeling of dissatisfaction.
By getting psychological treatment with the help of psychologist or psychiatrist and with proper training including for Assertiveness the above three factors viz. shyness, fear and inferiority complex can be eliminated.
The removal of feeling of inferiority will defenitely boost the self confidence of the individual and assist him to get success in his life.
One pleasent evening of 1960's I was travelling in a train along with my father. It was driven by a steam Engine with a rythematic sound chikku- bukku.My thoughts were also dancing in synchronisation with that engine sound.The next morning i had to take up an entrance examination for getting admission in Regional college of education. I was running with mild temperature. when i told my father, he laughed at me and said it may be an Examination fever and administered a pill. I was little bit nervous .
Suddenly the train halted in a small village side station. Both sides green fields. In the farther end of west there was a hill. I was lured by the panoramic view of sun set.I didn't feel the exam fear.Cool breeze was pleasent.Slowly as night came the sky was dark.once again i started thinking of my exam. As it was common entrance for four southern states i was not hopeful in selection.
The next morning we have reached the destination. In the tourist home where we have stayed i told my father that i feel very vaque and it is difficlt for me to take up the.exam. On hearing me, my father patted me on shoulder and said "'I hpoe you can do well. You have got the talent.Try to have positive thinking. The exam fear makes you think hopeless. Pray God . Have self confidence. Let us go to exam hall"
After attending my morning session exams I have come out. In the canteen, other students were discussing about the answers. On hearing that, i felt most of my answers might be wrong. I told my father it is better we can move without attending the after noon exam. But My father told me " do not bother about the result.You may not be knowing your potential.Once again I tell you have self confidence. "
Some how I managed to over come the fear of failure and attended the exam in the afternoon and retuned home. To my astonishment i was selected and was one among the 40 Students and joined the course.This induced me lo tof self confidence in atteding my Engineering interview and got selected.Then i left the regional college of education and Did my B.E degree in Electrical engineering .
With my personal experience , I under stood that Fear alone makes oneself feel hopeless and have less confidence in himself .
What makes oneself fear about facing the outside world.
It is nothing but " SHYNESS". Shy people will mostly face failures in his personal, family . social and professional life. It affects the normal development of the individual.Hence one must analyse himself for finding out the root cause of his shyness.
We know that Society and its social restrictions are the main reasons for one's personality development and behaviourism.
The restrictions posed by one's own family and school life,misunderstanding of his religion and culture,and wrong ideas of sex due to mistaught or misunderstanding.
Shyness in turn produces fear and inferiority complex.
FEAR:
During growth every child gain basic experiences, skills and emotins that allows themto have close relationship with others and to interact with them effectively. in the early child hood ,temper tantrums, intense Fears and unreasonable outbursts of of jealousy are present.
Conditioning , imitation and memories of unpleasent experiencesare main cause for arousing fears.
Fear consists of two stages. a)Anxiety and Actual fear
According to Sigmund Freud , repression of forbidden thoughts and id-derived urges is associated with intense anxiety and emotional state akin to fear.
A person in anxiety will be in confused state . He feels that he is in danger.and helpless.
Due to anxiety he gets the real fear.
All the above three factors give the individual the feeling of panic,feeling of guilt and of being rejected by the society. These produces inferiority complex in the individual.
The people with inferiority complex find it difficult to face the problems and act swiftly. They face failures mostly.
They lack in assertiveness.This in turn produces a sense of emptiness and a feeling of dissatisfaction.
By getting psychological treatment with the help of psychologist or psychiatrist and with proper training including for Assertiveness the above three factors viz. shyness, fear and inferiority complex can be eliminated.
The removal of feeling of inferiority will defenitely boost the self confidence of the individual and assist him to get success in his life.
Comments
As you said one should be sportive enough to accept the results of their action either positive or negative and this attitude depends on their self confidence.
I think the society in which a person is bought up, family setup, the attitude of the parents, have major influence on development of one's self confidence.
Failures are part of life without which there would the no process of learning.A self confident person put his effort at his best and proceed till the last stage of success irrespective of obstacles he face. On the other hand a person with low self esteem gets dejected half the way when a problem arrives and lose the hope of succeeding.Everything differs with one's perception of life
phenomena.
A self confident person will be an optimist and make the life most of it.
nalini